Okay so there’s a lot that’s already been said about PETA’s new Pokemon spoof, Pokemon Black and Blue (playable at the link for those curious, though there should be some triggers for body horror and blood). It’s meant to tell children that making Pokemon fight is wrong, just as animal fighting is considered inhumane.
What PETA doesn’t realize is that in attacking the Pokemon industry, they have overwhelmingly shown that they don’t know how to do their research. Here’s some ways how they not only missed the PokePoint, but are so under-educated about the topic they might as well be on Mars:
- Without getting too nitpicky, Pokemon Professors are basically the Pokelife equivalent of Jane Goodall. They draw pictures and study field patterns and figure out what Pokemon eat. No testing. No perfume sprays or lipstick things. They’re ecologists.
- By using a brutal, scare tactic-filled, my-way-or-the-highway approach, they make their scenario completely unrealistic. The generalization of people in the game makes it completely unrelateable; by seeing these “terrible” people portrayed with no depth other than their hatred, people will never think they might be doing the same thing (even if they were). They’d look at them and think “There’s much more to me than that! What they’re doing is wrong, but what I’m doing is right.” By failing to spend more than one iota of time on the people displayed, there is no relation and no one recognizes the problem.
- LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PLOT OF POKEMON IS ABOUT POKEMON AND PEOPLE WORKING TOGETHER TO HAVE HAPPY, LOVING RELATIONSHIPS. Every single opening text to EVERY SINGLE GAME is about how Pokemon are living things that need to be LOVED AND RESPECTED.
- Ash almost kills himself for Pikachu pretty much every episode. In the first movie he actually died. In the first episode he came so close to death he had to go to the fucking hospital for a little rat he didn’t even KNOW YET. He sticks his neck out for Pikachu and his Pokemon every single time.
- PIKACHU IS NEVER TRAPPED IN A POKEBALL. ASH TRIED, FAILED, AND THENGAVE UP ON IT BECAUSE HE WANTED PIKACHU TO BE HAPPY.
- Ash’s entire thing was that he was a role model for kids on HOW TO TREAT ANIMALS PROPERLY and to respect pets and everything. The Pokemon Battles were an equivalent to working out. No one dies in Pokemon. No one ever dies. The only time anyone ever gets seriously hurt is during a movie climax and even then PEOPLE DIE MORE OFTEN IN POKEMON THAN POKEMON DO. Multiple movies and episodes have shown a Pokemon “faint” in battle, it’s called, and the Pokemon gets right back up and walks away because IT’S NOT DEAD OR HARDLY EVEN INJURED.
- You idiots literally don’t get Pokemon at all do you.
- And a nitpicky aspect on the game: The fake moves they added for the Pokemon (such as “Protest” and “Group Hug”) were status changing moves. Meaning the Pokemon had to physically cause harm in order to progress in the game. Good job teaching children that eventually you’ll have to use violence to get what you want!
god fucking dammit
can’t you just kiss already
jesus fucking christ